1279 replies to this topic

[SpazCat]

Legacy is having a terrible year. I'm sorry to hear about that. I honestly have no idea what to say...

[Monkeydog]

I too, empathize with your problem Legacy, and I'm sorry.

 

Although, from my experience, any kind of relationship that requires that much effort is not the best possible relationship you could be in (especially long distance). It sucks, yes, but eventually you might find that it was best for you. Understandably though, I wouldn't want to listen to me if I was in your situation. 

[legacyme3]

I argue the other way, I understand the argument, but the way I see it is this.

 

If a relationship requires effort, and you feel like putting in the effort, it is worth it. To me, love is sacrifice, and hard work. This was the best relationship I've had, and coincidentally the longest, and the furthest distance I''ve ever held a relationship up from. Three years. I'm 21. That's literally 1/7th of my life.

 

It was worth the effort. I guess she just didn't feel the same.

 

I wish she'd said that 2 years or so ago, o the pain could have been lessened.

[Monkeydog]

I think, when you finally find a relationship in which you are both comfortable, you'll change your mind.

 

There is a reason to put effort into a relationship, and it is worth it. However a relationship should not just be effort and work. Part of the reason one would want to be in a relationship and in love is the comfort level you have with that person, that no matter what you do you don't need to do anything to make them love you and appreciate you. You can, if you want, but it's not a necessity, and it shouldn't be, and when it's needed it shouldn't feel like effort or sacrifice or being worth it. It just is.

[legacyme3]

That doesn't bode well for me then, because of how uncomfortable I am around everyone.

 

She was one of the few people to actually get to me on a personal level, and put me somewhat at ease.

 

It eventually got to the point where I felt safe. The moment I felt safe, it all went to shit.

 

All it does is give me less reason to trust anyone.

[Monkeydog]

See, I don't understand that reasoning. If anything that would say don't trust you instincts.

 

If you're socially awkward, and god knows everyone on this forum is, the best thing is not to group yourself with more socially awkward people. Take risks, who cares what happens? You're already not being social to begin with, a failure in a social manner is no different than if you kept course. If you continue to only be around socially awkward people you fall into the problem that even if you get to know them, they have as many social problems as you, and that might not bode well.

 

Nothing good is ever going to come from not being able to trust people and being so self conscious about things that really only matter to your persona. Take failure and learn from it and continue to move on, because you'll be far more sad to be stuck where you are now than to try and fail some more (because eventually, you won't, especially since you're such a cool dude from what I know of you).

[kspr]

 

you'll be fine

[SpazCat]

Chubby bunny knows best.

[legacyme3]

I'd be more open to setting myself up for failure again if I didn't keep failing like this.

 

I'm just getting tired of this always happening. I keep letting people in, they break my heart, and the process repeats itself.

[Monkeydog]

Trust me, it won't always happen, and you might just not need to be so selective on who you let in. Some people will surprise you. It happens to everyone whose socially awkward, so don't feel like it only happens to you. You'll just need to find your way, and I think you're a cool enough dude to find it.

[Glaciermage]

I'm assuming there were some enjoyable parts of the last 3 years, eh Leggy? So if you didn't put yourself out there u wouldn't get to enjoy those. <cheesy motivational saying>It's more about the journey than the final destination.<\cheesy motivational saying>

[legacyme3]

Well yeah, if I didn't enjoy the past three years, I wouldn't have stayed with her. I think I've made it clear my time is very precious to me, and it upsets me to have three years of effort go up in smoke.

 

I'm not denying I didn't have fun, but I want more fun.

[SpazCat]

You'll have more fun! You're a fun person and I'm certain you'll find someone who has as much fun as you do.

[Lackadaisy]

Life's pretty shit at times, and well, nothing we can do but weather it.

You'll eventually find someone bro, you're still pretty young, and nothing's a deal breaker. Shit, stuff like this happens to nearly everyone. All you can do is just slog on through. At least you have people here you can vent your shit out to.

[legacyme3]

Honestly, I feel a lot better than I did earlier.

 

For those curious as to how I got over it so fast, I did the following.

 

- Went outside and smashed all the fucking snow in the yard with a baseball bat. This handled the anger rather nicely, given how much there was.

- I then went and worked out, and burned whatever energy I had left.

- Then finally I listened to every song in my music library over the course of the day (took a break for the first thing) to find that one song that would make me feel better, since I have a song for every occasion. (This time, it's "Jump" by Less Than Jake.)

 

I still love her, and miss her terribly, enough to say I'm positive I won't meet anyone as magical in my near future, and maybe ever.

 

But everyone deserves a person they want to be with, just as much as everyone deserves someone who wants to be with them. 

 

And it's wrong of me to keep holding on to the past.

 

I'm not completely over it, but I have the tools to move on when I'm comfortable. All the facts are there, now it's just a matter of me admitting I can find someone else, period.

[Monkeydog]

I think that's healthy. You'll never feel like anyone could replace her while you still love her. But getting over that and her just takes time, as long as you're not dwelling on it you'll be fine.

You're far better than I was ever.

[Xteven Xavier]

I just got my old job back. I start on Saturday. It was actually pretty cool one of my managers randomly showed up at my house and asked me to come back to work. And this is after they avoided me for months. I guess they just finally got desperate enough for closers they need me back.

Thank science for that looks like I don't have to go hungry on the days I close.

[Monkeydog]

Awesome. I'm happy for you.

[Lackadaisy]

Good for you guys.

 

...uh, I got good grades?

 

Anyways, life's been pretty OK around here. Dad's going to get a job. I feel good for the guy because the whole "no-job" thing's pretty much been eating him alive. I've begun to realize how low-self esteem a lot of people are. Anyways, yadda yadda, shit happens, I take it, good things happen, I love it, the end.

 

I also realize how my family being apart doesn't bother me much anymore. We weren't tight-knit at all anyways, so it's not much of a change.

[Anthony Totinos]

being back in school after winter break makes me remember how fucking stupid or annoying like 90% of the other math majors are.