12 replies to this topic

[panda]

Attention please. To whom it may concern:

So I went on a date (finally) and this girl and I had such a great time and consumed LOTS of alcohol. Apparently a good pick up line for me to use is "Hey there, I'm a Black belt." Alcohol seems to lower inhibitions, so the next thing I knew we were at her place making out...naked. Then after another bottle of wine we did it and I guess neither one of us could think straight because we didn't have a good brand of condom, only some store brand.

And this morning I found out she's pregnant.

And we're going to put it up for adoption (I'm in Kansas, after all).

So if anyone wants a quarter Asian girl in 9 months...bidding starts at $100.

I'll even throw in a half-box of condoms.

[Stars]

I was with you until you said you went to her place.

[Hyperlisk]

So you found out overnight that she is pregnant? I don't think that's how that works. Also, today is that day when people say things... So yeah...

[kspr]

an even better line is "wanna see the world's ^second biggest rooster?"

[panda]

So here's how the game works: post a story about you that seems plausible at the start with where you are in life and things that (maybe could have) happened to you, then take it wherever you want. Bonus points if you make Stars believe it was real until the end.

(And Stars, I have been to way more girl's places than you. Okay, it's actually just 2, which is really sad for both of us.)

Hopefully we can keep this interesting enough to last past April 1.

[legacyme3]

Congratulations on your fake asian baby.

[legacyme3]

So here's how the game works: post a story about you that seems plausible at the start with where you are in life and things that (maybe could have) happened to you, then take it wherever you want. Bonus points if you make Stars believe it was real until the end.

(And Stars, I have been to way more girl's places than you. Okay, it's actually just 2, which is really sad for both of us.)

Hopefully we can keep this interesting enough to last past April 1.

 

Here's a story for you.

 

This summer, my girlfriend and I plan to get an apartment, and move in together.

 

We'll be living in the most crime filled city in the state, which terrifies me.

 

I recently checked my balls and found I have none.

 

There's your story.

[panda]

Maybe I could send you one of mine the next Secret Santa we do.

[Monkeydog]

This is a fun game.

[kspr]

The.

 

that is all.

[panda]

I see. One of those days where precisely bupkis happens, so you decide to embellish it as best you can to say that at least something happened/existed.

[panda]

So I attended a Taekwondo class taught by a different instructor at a separate branch of my academy (it's complicated). That was fun. I got roped into helping teach, even though I really just wanted to sweat.

There's this really cute girl who is the ranking student. I wasn't really aware of it, but while I was calling kicks and counting aloud, mostly on autopilot, I was staring at her the whole time. After the class was over, I tried to catch up to her in the parking lot, tell her it was good to see her, ask if I'd see her at another class, ask for her number, tell her she's pretty...

Apparently approaching a girl from behind in a parking lot is a bad idea, especially if she's a highly trained martial artist. Back kick to the chest as soon as I said "Hey!"

...and then a right punch to the face.

And while she apologised for the honest mistake, that didn't prevent the passing police cruiser from stopping, drawing his weapon, yelling at me, and giving me a few hits with the billy club.

A pat down and one cavity search later, he finally asked the girl what happened, and I can't tell you how relieved I am to not be in jail.

...at least I got her number on the way out of the station.

[Kyle]

So I was at a party at Chelsea, which is that one school that all the dead beats and wanna be porn stars go to, and me and this girl who has a deep voice but has got a body invites me for coffee, and for once I realized, "Hey, this time it isn't about starbucks." So we got to her room and we shared a whole pack of Jack Daniels. Long story short I woke up to her poking me with her "cash and prizes" if you know what I mean.