32 replies to this topic

[SpazCat]

I currently occupy a position that, more or less, has me working with two people. I work with others, but mostly I deal with these two people.

Now one of these individuals has not yet grasped that he's an ass and lacks the ability to shut-up.

I like to believe I'm a reasonable person. Apparently, to this person, I am not. The first day he actually gets on the floor to work with myself and my other associate he begins telling stories about his ride-alongs with the parametrics... Telling about rape cases and dead/dying kids. I have no stomach for such things. Especially any story that involves a child being hurt/ killed in horrifying ways. I ask my new co-worker to not talk about it and he goes off on a tangent about how he loves death.

.... after getting agitated I ask him to just stop. He refuses.

I ask him to not be so rude/mean/sexist.... he responds that if you hold your tongue you hide your true self.
I ask to him to hide his 'true self' for a bit.... he responds that he's just being honest.
I ask him to simply shut-up... he responds that I'm taking everything he says to personally.
I leave his presents to get a grip. Maybe I'm being a dick and just not seeing it. I come back and the first sentence out of his mouth is:

"So what do you want to talk about rainbows and princesses like girls do?"

My question to you: How do you deal/work with people you utterly hate?

[kspr]

fire his dumbass. he probably tortures small animals anyway...either that, or arrange an accident.

[SpazCat]

I don't have the 'power' to fire him, otherwise I would have.

As far as a accident goes hmm... I'll think on that.

[rekaru]

in my case, which was not related to my job but rather a project/campaign, i worked to consolidate power by befriending others and instilling in them the idea that the person-of-interest is scum (if such an idea wasn't already implanted in them), then proceeded to act passive-aggressively/being argumentative, and through the power of suggestion, got others to do the same. basically, i worked to rally the others behind my cause to annoy the hell out of this person. this may not be exactly what you're looking for, but i felt that it's worth mentioning. it certainly made me feel better at the end of the day.

if you want to do this the "mature adult way", talk to HR/your supervisor. solicit opinions from your other coworkers (especially the other one out of the three of you) about his behaviour and see if their impressions match up to your own. he's not entirely new, is he? if not, i would find it hard to believe that you would be the only person that has an issue with him, especially since you seem like such a patient and generally kind person. i'd imagine someone less kind and with more of a temper may have already said something, and if not, have at least had thoughts about saying something.

undoubtedly, it can be stressful to be in an environment in which you may feel threatened or offended. based on what you've said, he doesn't sound even remotely pleasant to work with, so it's understandable and even justified that you're feeling this way. the next step is to channel your feelings into effectively putting a stop to his behaviour. personally, i would choose the "ignore him, speak to someone" route (a blend of two of the given options).

[SpazCat]

/>in my case, which was not related to my job but rather a project/campaign, i worked to consolidate power by befriending others and instilling in them the idea that the person-of-interest is scum (if such an idea wasn't already implanted in them), then proceeded to act passive-aggressively/being argumentative, and through the power of suggestion, got others to do the same. basically, i worked to rally the others behind my cause to annoy the hell out of this person. this may not be exactly what you're looking for, but i felt that it's worth mentioning. it certainly made me feel better at the end of the day.

I can see this working. I seriously could. Even though I work early in the morning, I'm still well known throughout the store and getting support for such a thing wouldn't be so difficult.

/>if you want to do this the "mature adult way", talk to HR/your supervisor. solicit opinions from your other coworkers (especially the other one out of the three of you) about his behaviour and see if their impressions match up to your own. he's not entirely new, is he? if not, i would find it hard to believe that you would be the only person that has an issue with him, especially since you seem like such a patient and generally kind person. i'd imagine someone less kind and with more of a temper may have already said something, and if not, have at least had thoughts about saying something.

He's not entirely new, no. This will be his 2 week on the floor. He has gotten better, but the story I gave above sums up his attitude. He still seems to think he is so qualified for anything. To be honest I have him doing training that isn't required just to get him away from me.

I have asked a few others to see if maybe the problem was me. If it was I want to change my attitude, apologize, and work on not being such a baby. The impression that others got was the same as mine. They weren't nearly as annoyed, but I suspect that is just me blowing out of proportions. I do have a temper at times, but I take pride knowing that it hasn't affected my work at all. I just come home and whine to Tony about it.

/>undoubtedly, it can be stressful to be in an environment in which you may feel threatened or offended. based on what you've said, he doesn't sound even remotely pleasant to work with, so it's understandable and even justified that you're feeling this way. the next step is to channel your feelings into effectively putting a stop to his behaviour. personally, i would choose the "ignore him, speak to someone" route (a blend of two of the given options).

At this point I'll try anything.

[rekaru]

Well, I certainly have nothing else to say about the topic other than: I hope this works out for you in the best of all possible ways.

MP has your back ^^

[SpazCat]

Thank you Rekaru.

And to you too Kasper!

[dhm]

From my perspective, it seems like this person is not willing to change his behavior even though you clearly expressed you were uncomfortable with it.

I would take it to your HR representative. Let him or her know that you are not comfortable; after all, it sounds like harassment to me.

No one harasses SpazCat and gets away with it.

[kspr]

/>From my perspective, it seems like this person is not willing to change his behavior even though you clearly expressed you were uncomfortable with it.

I would take it to your HR representative. Let him or her know that you are not comfortable; after all, it sounds like harassment to me.

No one harasses SpazCat and gets away with it.

she's married, Mr. Gallantry.

also, does your company have one of those 'anonymous call in' type of hotlines? you could just call in and say that he sexually harassed you. he'd be gone pretty quick.

[SpazCat]

Damn straight!

You should have seen Braden's, my other co-worker, face. When this new guy made the comment about rainbows and such Brade took a set back from me and started shaking his head. At first I was stunned. Seeing Braden's reaction made me feel a bit better.

[SpazCat]

/>

From my perspective, it seems like this person is not willing to change his behavior even though you clearly expressed you were uncomfortable with it.

I would take it to your HR representative. Let him or her know that you are not comfortable; after all, it sounds like harassment to me.

No one harasses SpazCat and gets away with it.

she's married, Mr. Gallantry.

also, does your company have one of those 'anonymous call in' type of hotlines? you could just call in and say that he sexually harassed you. he'd be gone pretty quick.

i didn't think he was hitting on me... but I'm flattered to think you thought that.

And I do! If he acts up again I shall call. Now where do they post that number at work... hm.

[Vicious Parker]

/>in my case, which was not related to my job but rather a project/campaign, i worked to consolidate power by befriending others and instilling in them the idea that the person-of-interest is scum (if such an idea wasn't already implanted in them), then proceeded to act passive-aggressively/being argumentative, and through the power of suggestion, got others to do the same. basically, i worked to rally the others behind my cause to annoy the hell out of this person. this may not be exactly what you're looking for, but i felt that it's worth mentioning. it certainly made me feel better at the end of the day.

I would have to say that I am not a fan of this type of method. It sounds too dishonest to me, and if you tried to get me on your side, I would not be comfortable with it.

[Donkeymog]

Ask him about his mother.

[Nanaki]

/>

in my case, which was not related to my job but rather a project/campaign, i worked to consolidate power by befriending others and instilling in them the idea that the person-of-interest is scum (if such an idea wasn't already implanted in them), then proceeded to act passive-aggressively/being argumentative, and through the power of suggestion, got others to do the same. basically, i worked to rally the others behind my cause to annoy the hell out of this person. this may not be exactly what you're looking for, but i felt that it's worth mentioning. it certainly made me feel better at the end of the day.

I would have to say that I am not a fan of this type of method. It sounds too dishonest to me, and if you tried to get me on your side, I would not be comfortable with it.

Yeah, I don't like the idea either, but at the same time, if this guy really is that much of a jerk, everyone will probably eventually ally themselves against him eventually anyway. Unless he is a Douchebag In a Position of Power, in which case you're in trouble. But it doesn't sound like he is. It sounds like he is functioning on so low of a level that he will probably do himself in eventually anyway. Still worth talking to HR though, some of the things he said to you are things that you just shouldn't have to put up with in the workplace.

[SpazCat]

/>Well, I certainly have nothing else to say about the topic other than: I hope this works out for you in the best of all possible ways.

MP has your back ^^

So I hear from Bean you're mom is great! ><

Mine's great too! We should start a club. And talk about how our moms are soooo cool.

[SpazCat]

I plan on giving him another week. he has improved, not by much. If he continues I can at least say I gave it a good try.

[Septerra]

Give him something to think about, that's what I would do. and also a compromise.

example: make him see this from your perspective, and how it affects the overall tension in a negative way. also talk about mutual respect (mainly because of the rainbow comment), like he can be still free to express himself and say whatever he wants and if that gets to you he should tone it down/take another subject to talk about...he could even resume the previous conversation with another employee as soon as your not near/next to him anymore. this way you can create a compromise without having to change both your ways of behavior.

hope this all made sense seeing i'm not a genius in explaining my thoughts.

[SpazCat]

Made perfect sense to me. in fact, today I had to do just that. It worked out very well.

[Donkeymog]

Did you ask him about his mother?

[Stars]

/>"So what do you want to talk about rainbows and princesses like girls do?"

I've figured it out; your co-worker is really Sheldon!
(Important part is at 0:22-0:28)