3 replies to this topic

[Xteven Xavier]

Yeah I just wrote two sets of lyrics/poems, so I was hoping a community of friends could help me out by telling me what they think and offering constructive criticism.

First one I wrote tonight is called, "lets just play pretend" here this one is.

"chasing dreams across the plains, never gonna catch the unattainable.
wind up cars that stay in motion always seen to crash.the slave drivers keep us moving along our well worn paths.
all the seers and fortune tellers even they couldn't see. well it's time to open your eyes it's an illusion that we're free.

of coarse I'm a liar, of coarse your a liar, we're only human. the world is not a happy place, so let's just play pretend.

I am a fucking mess, I doubt you can clean me up. don't know how it got this far, but I'm just too fucked up.
when people fail others laugh, where's the humanity. why can't we help each other, can't you see how great it could be.
instead we keep to ourselves and bottle our emotions up. well keeping all that pain inside is what fucked me up.

of coarse I'm a liar, of coarse your a liar, we're only human. the world is not a happy place, so let's just play pretend.

of coarse I'm a liar, of coarse your a liar, we're only human."


The second I simply called "promises" here it is.


"I opened up to you, you tore me open, crushing words i can't escape. I know you know that I am broken, made that way cause you were fake
your words so haunting torture me as I lie awake in bed. you ruin my dreams every night just cause you exist.

you promised you would always love me,I said the same to you, just know for one of us, that promise still holds true.

you said you fell out of love, I said we can work out out, you looked into my eyes and said there's someone else.
my heart dropped me to my knees, I swore it wasn't true, you said stop being a baby, you knew it was coming. I didn't know what to do.

you promised you would always love me,I said the same to you, just know for one of us, that promise still holds true.


I lost the will to live,I fell into a funk. my life had no meaning.I tried to reclaim my self esteem but I couldn't even dream.
I saw your face every time my eyes closed what could I do.
even in my deepest sleep I only thought of you.

you promised you would always love me,I said the same to you, just know for one of us, that promise still holds true."

[lazlo falconi]

Whoa dude, is the second one about me?

[Xteven Xavier]

No, honestly it's about no one it just came to me. I tapped into something and I used out for inspiration.

[Xteven Xavier]

Though strangely enough it does have a lot of similarities.