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[kspr]

come fall, i'm starting a new career in the lucrative field of being a public access tv producing whackaloon. i just ingested 15 minutes of a horror movie produced by grown ass adults:

zombies, naturally, trap a fat guy and four skanks in a basement that doesn't have stairs and is attached to the living room. one of them nonchalantly goes upstairs and is accosted by some guy in black sweatpants and sweatshirt wearing a $5 dios dela muerte mask. then some dumb girl checks the phony drawer facades on the front of a kitchen sink before getting to the one drawr with a knife. she then boredly walks over, and clumsily collapses on the zombie guy and stabs the mask, on like the first take you guys. cut to the basement where instead of immedietely being on the channel he needed, the fat guy fiddles with a tv while the skank of the living dead rises up off the couch, and the camera guy puts the illusion of her tits center shot. then she bites a flesh wound that magically appeared before she bit him, and then 5 minute fade out montage of the two zombie skanks eating the other now dead skanks while fat guy's corpse just stares creepily from a couch that i'm sure wasn't always urine colored.

tl;dr i make better stuff sober.

so aside from my new Lake County Science Theater 4000, Damnit Mummy, So You Think You Can Park, And the world series of asking girls out, i need some loosely defined show pitches. i get either a 30, or 60 minute timeslot, commercial free, and can check out cameras to do remote shoots. the majority of programming now is either religious, interviews, or skanks of the living dead calibur programming. let's make public access tv fun.

(the world series of asking girls out is trademarked and used with the permission of lazlo falconi, and quality roms. quality roms is a wholly owned subsidiary of quality media corp., registered trademark 2013.)