10 replies to this topic

[Donkeymog]

Hola,

 

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Today I am in Calvia in Mallorca in Spain. A guest of the Calvia Tourism Board. Surreal experience, we are staying in a dodgy resort that is totally not the 4 stars that we were told that it would be. It's entirely populated by old age pensioners, which is strange as the only thing this island is known for is banging drug-fuelled parties. The head of the tourism board wants to show me the hiking trails today, because he thinks that's what tourists want to see. I can see how he has a tough job.

 

Ask any Spain / Mallorca / Calvia related questions here. I don't have any free time to go and see anything because they've given us a shitty itinerary of stuff to do. The only free time we have is Friday morning and I think we're going to get Segways and play Ping Pong then. Or at least that's what I want to do.

 

(I keep coming up with hilarious Mexican jokes and then being sad that they don't actually apply here :()

 

[Donkeymog]

The Hungover!

 

Yesterday we walked to the places, the beaches and the mountains.

 

We drank the Rioja, the Merlot, the Cabernet Sauvignon some Rose, funny rum, some kind of aniseed liquor. Beer. 

 

We ate seafood piella, seafood tapas, steak, funny little peppers that the deceive you.

 

Today we boat. Today we eat. Today we drink.

 

I read a story by Don DeLillo about astronauts in space. One of them talks a lot, the other doesn't. Over time their mission and their isolation and killing people with giant laser beams gets them down. The talkative one becomes less talkative, instead he just stares down at Earth in silence. After days of this all he says is "It's interesting. With the colours and all." Human Moments in World War III.

[kspr]

how can i get invited to pensioner drug island?

[Xteven Xavier]

Yes, how do I join you?

[Monkeydog]

Ditto.

[Donkeymog]

Step 1) Have an extensive list of email addresses for editors at major national/international/online publications

Step 2) Have an extensive list of email addresses for tourism boards, airlines, hotels, travel companies (or the PR companies that represent them)

Step 3) Be an established journalist with a reputation

Step 4) Email editors every day with ideas for travel stories

Step 5) Read a lot of rejection emails. Eventually find an editor who likes your style.

Step 6) Email all of the appropriate tourism boards, airlines hotels and or travel companies telling them that you are writing a story for a major publication.

Step 7) ???

Step 8) Profit.

 

OR

 

Have an enormous schlong and bone somebody who is willing to go through all that effort.

 

I leave Mallorca today. Strange trip. The head of tourism is a bit of a dude, and the place is a bit of a shit hole, so we've mostly just been eating at expensive restaurants and getting pissed on mojitos. Every now and again he sobers up for a second and he asks us what kind of article we're going to write and he looks very sad and longing. And then we talk about his little doggie and he's happy again. Great guy, great food, great booze.

[kspr]

and you just ask them to provide all the arrangements for you, or how does that work? who do you start the ball with?

[Donkeymog]

You start with the publication. Tourism boards won't do shit for you unless you can confirm that you have been commissioned to write a piece, and even then they have to verify your credentials and decide whether they care about the publication or not. Sometimes tourism boards start the ball rolling by organizing press trips where they invite lots of different journalists out. I've not been on a trip like that yet, so I'm not sure how they work.

[lazlo falconi]

In more Spain related questions: Do they really have a daily siesta? And what's that like for someone not used to taking naps? (Disregard if you usually take midday naps)

[kspr]

serious question: how do you feel about going to Seville to get a haircut?

[Donkeymog]

Unfortunately I'm back in the UK so Seville might not be an option. I do need a haircut though.

 

Siestas don't really happen from what I can gather. I dunno, I was on a holiday resort so it was kind of hard to tell.