10 replies to this topic

[E.Nigma]

Just popping in to say hi. Had a moment of nostalgia. Figured I'd see what's up in monkey land.
Writing a novel, hoping to be published by december. It's working out very well, surprisingly well actually.
How's MP been since I left.... what, 2 years ago? XD
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<---- I'm also mad that my Ryo doll sprite got erased and replaced with mario. :P I was hoping to save that sprite. Do you guys happen to still have it around somewhere by chance?

[Stars]

Woah, hi, Ryo!
We've been short a few members, but we're doing about the same as always (except now with more ponies). You should stick around! :D

Also, kudos on the impending novel. What's the title so that we can look it up when it's published?

As for the Ryo doll, I'm sure it's still around somewhere. Puffin or Monkey or somebody can probably grab it for you.

[Kamau]

I feel like a lot of those sprites are hidden around here somewhere. Hope yours is too.

Definite kudos on the novel! I agree with Stars on the questions about it.


How's it been, Ryo? :D

[Septerra]

Welcome back Ryo!

Stay a while and listen.

also: success with the novel!

[E.Nigma]

I haven't had an official name for the Novel yet. Originally, I was going to call it Finis Compendium (Latin for The Final Composition) but I'm no Latin expert and don't even really know if that's how you'd properly string together that phrase. Been trying to get someone to clarify that for me.

Anyway, the single novel has pretty much turned into a series over time, so the name change is mostly because of that. It'll probably end up being "The Compendium Series" or something but that's still something I can work out during final editing.

I've written several chapters, only one of which I've been showing publicly just to get a feel for how my readers take in my work, and the whole story has been coming together nicely. It was an idea that I had months ago that just kind of hit me out of nowhere while re-watching the second Sherlock Holmes movie, haha. At first I figured it'd just be a "for fun" thing to talk about, but I lost my job about 3 weeks later and it sort of became a pet project to keep me occupied while I wasn't working.

Here's a piece of that first chapter I've been showing around.
I'll probably pop in here from time to time. It'd be nice to see what's going on. I liked the changes to the front page.



Finis Compendium: Edward Mayfair, (Teacher and Part-Time Investigator) is conned into joining the Military by the Governing Library in order to clear his name after being accused of murdering his brother.

/> On this page, they were still children. Edward knew that neither of them could ever forget the events that were to unfold during the coming hour. He could see the younger incarnation of himself drawing bricks on the walls of a sand castle as clearly as if he were actually standing on the beach himself. And he was.
His brother, Isaac, was always the more artistic of the two. Even as a child Isaac had an eye for beauty. His towers were built to scale and the details were as perfect as he could make them. Sea shells lined a little walk way into the front gate and he'd used a small piece of wood, presumably from some previous ship wreckage on the beach, as the draw bridge for his moat. He'd sneaked four match-sticks from the fire place at home and was sticking them in position at the tops of individual towers along his outer wall. Toy soldiers and animal figurines littered the busy little streets of his square.
Edward's castle still looked like the pale that he'd used to shape the sand, and the brick pattern was crude at best. Never the less, they were happy. Only moments ago, Edward had picked up a hermit crab and stuck it in his own moat. He hadn't told Isaac yet, but he was also hiding a wooden dragon that his father carved for him on a previous birthday in his pocket. He planned to reveal it once their battle began.
It was a windy day. The sun burned their skin and sand stung their eyes but things like that never seem to bother children do they? They didn't care as long as they weren't being forced to study. The unexpected arrival of a carrier ship only days before resulted in their father leaving town on military business. It was apparently delivering a larger shipment of dangerous books than normal and the Armed Librarians were dispatched to receive it. Although retired, their father Julias was still summoned for the occasional emergency shipment.
Aside from being a research specialist, Julias had a talent for locksmithing. The Library still contracted him to create complex enchanted vaults in the lower dungeons. Luckily for the children, the military was generous with their wages. Thanks to his many years in the research field they were well off and he was very proud of his work. He'd set out the day before by train, leaving the children behind with his neighbor who the kids referred to as Granny B.
Edward loved this memory. He enjoyed watching himself through Isaac's eyes. After all this was Isaac's recollection of the event, not his own, although they'd both shared the experience as children. This particular page is a record of one of Isaac's personal experiences. Edward was just visiting. This memory was one of the very last days of their childhood innocence. They were truly happy and Edward wanted to feel it again.
Little Edward took the dragon carving from my pocket and placed it outside of the gates of Isaac's fortress knocking over a few soldiers as he did. "I breathe fire into your guard. Down with the imperials," he said! Isaac returned fire by tossing a couple of small rocks at the dragon, "Catapults fire at will!"
Then there was a jolt. It felt like a ripple in the water that seemed to continue right out of the ocean and somehow pass through the physical world. The shock of it knocked Edward out of the younger Isaac's body yards away from the children playing in the sand. Edward panicked. He searched for the source of the disruption but couldn't find anything out of place.
Another jolt. This time it was louder, more powerful. Edward convulsed and looked out over the ocean. The source of the shock was out there. The waves of the ocean. He could hear it now. They were getting louder.
The children in the memory seemed not to notice. Isaac was drawing with his twig and lecturing the younger Edward about symmetry but it was barely audible over the hammering of the ocean.
Edward watched the tide wash against the beach, louder and louder until it was almost a deafening roar. Every splash against the sand was like a thoom of electricity in the air that rippled out through everything. This wasn't right, Edward knew. Only one thing can cause chaos within a memory like this. Disruption from the outside. Edward braced himself for what was about to come.
There was another shock, another convulsion, and he felt myself becoming disconnected from the world around him.
The sand melted beneath his feet and the warmth from the sun suddenly became a slimy cold. He felt like he was being dragged backward and his feet were leaving the ground. He felt filthy, wet, and his bones suddenly weren't a part of him anymore. Everything in his body started to feel as if it were made of water.
Being jolted out of a memory by an outside force is an unpleasant sensation that differs wildly each time. There's no real way of preparing for the shock of it so Edward only mentally prepared himself to feel terrible.
There was one final boom from the water, and the pulse that came from it was so strong that it pushed him instead of passing through. The invisible force slammed against his chest and he flew up and up and out of the world. It shrank below him and he could feel the gut wrenching sensation of falling in reverse. Everything became a blur and the universe seemed to collapse around him.
Then it ended. Everything turned to black and he opened his eyes.

[Stars]

/>I haven't had an official name for the Novel yet. Originally, I was going to call it Finis Compendium (Latin for The Final Composition) but I'm no Latin expert and don't even really know if that's how you'd properly string together that phrase. Been trying to get someone to clarify that for me.

As I recall, Latin doesn't care in what order the words appear, provided you use the correct conjugations and whatnot. There is a standard syntax, but it's perfectly acceptable to switch words around to change the emphasis.
And I do not pretend to be an expert either, but I believe that ought to be Finalis rather than Finis. Finis apparently means "the end." And the Latin for Composition is Compositio, but Compendium sounds better, so don't change that. =p


EDIT: Grammar nazi powers activate!

Edward's castle still looked like the pale that he'd used to shape the sand

Should be "pail."

There are a lot of missing commas, but I won't point them all out unless you want me to. Some people tend to use them too liberally, but you seem to do the opposite. =p
They mostly need to be added to several compound sentences.

"I breathe fire into your guard. Down with the imperials," he said! /P/
Isaac returned fire by tossing a couple of small rocks at the dragon, "Catapults fire at will!"

Needs to be a new paragraph.

There was another shock, another convulsion, and he felt myself becoming disconnected from the world around him.

>_> <_< Can't decide if typo or done on purpose.

[E.Nigma]

/>

I haven't had an official name for the Novel yet. Originally, I was going to call it Finis Compendium (Latin for The Final Composition) but I'm no Latin expert and don't even really know if that's how you'd properly string together that phrase. Been trying to get someone to clarify that for me.

As I recall, Latin doesn't care in what order the words appear, provided you use the correct conjugations and whatnot. There is a standard syntax, but it's perfectly acceptable to switch words around to change the emphasis.
And I do not pretend to be an expert either, but I believe that ought to be Finalis rather than Finis. Finis apparently means "the end." And the Latin for Composition is Compositio, but Compendium sounds better, so don't change that. =p

EDIT: Grammar nazi powers activate!

Edward's castle still looked like the pale that he'd used to shape the sand

Should be "pail."

There are a lot of missing commas, but I won't point them all out unless you want me to. Some people tend to use them too liberally, but you seem to do the opposite. =p

"I breathe fire into your guard. Down with the imperials," he said! /P/
Isaac returned fire by tossing a couple of small rocks at the dragon, "Catapults fire at will!"

Needs to be a new paragraph.

There was another shock, another convulsion, and he felt myself becoming disconnected from the world around him.

>_> <_<

LOL. sorry about that. I copied and pasted this from somewhere else that I'd already posted it. It's old, and the spelling / grammar stuff has been fixed. It was originally written in first person, but after realizing that some of the things I wanted to do with the Compendium couldn't be done solely in first person I had to re-write it. Hence the "he felt myself"

As far as punctuation, spelling errors and general grammatical mistakes go, Editing will take care of that. It's something I don't really have to put emphasis on until after the full story is complete. But thanks for the Latin lesson. That's something I can really use.

Writing this in first person was hard, but doing it in third person is proving to be way harder.
Narrating a story in the third person about a character who also has third person experiences with himself is like writing a story, about a story, about a guy >.>

[Stars]

/>Writing this in first person was hard, but doing it in third person is proving to be way harder.
Narrating a story in the third person about a character who also has third person experiences with himself is like writing a story, about a story, about a guy >.>

Sounds like an interesting predicament. xp

*moving this down from my other post since I didn't see that you were typing*
The excerpt sounds interesting. I probably would have bought the book(s) either way to support a friend, but it also looks like it'll be a worthwhile read. =)

[kspr]

latin sentence composition is similar to how Yoda talks.

Galia est omnes divisa in partes tres. quorum unam incolunt Belgai, aliam Aquitani, tertiam aei que ipsorum lingua Celtae.

Gaul as a whole is divided into three parts. one of whom are called the Belgai, another the Aquitani, the third in their own tongue are called the Celts.

in any case, WELCOME BACK! WOLFPACK O.G.'S! you've missed a lot of bifdays.

[Monkeydog]

That is super sad that only me and Kasper are the only Wolfpack people here, kinda, except Ryo is here now too.

http://monkeypro.net... 4/ryotome1.gif

I'd read your excerpt right now but I am busy so I won't. But I'll totally buy your book just cause.

YOU SHOULD STAY HERE FOREVER WE MISSED YOU.

[E.Nigma]

Having that GIF makes me super happy XD
Thanks