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Weekly Updates 4/7/2015

Weekly Updates Member of the Week Game of the Week Spazcat Codename: The Shockwave Crushed hopes and dreams

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#1 Vicious Parker

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Posted 07 April 2015 - 06:35 PM


Even though I massively failed at my April Fool's update last week, I'm back for more this week, so please still love me. But hey, I guess it's not that big of a deal. I'm just keeping up with the rest of the internet (That is, massively failing at April Fools).


The truth is that I haven't been around much at all since the last post I made a week ago, so I don't actually know what people have been up to. Instead, here are three random posts that happened last week.


Panda gets teen-pregnant.


Stars posts pony related music videos, because... Stars...


Monkeydog has a legitimate excuse for his sore thumbs and sweaty palms, for once.





Today, in a shocking display of "Because I can," I'm choosing my wife as Member of the Week. I doubt any of you know this, because why would you?, but my wife is starting a new job today after spending the last 6 or so years at her last one. However, I know she's going to rock it like nobody's business.



Game of the Week


Codename: The Shockwave

In a continued display of "Because I can," I'm choosing my own failed project for Game of the Week. Let's go back holy-crap 12 years ago to when RPG Maker was LE HUGE and "Holy crap" was probably a meme (before theings being memes was a meme), thanks to Strong Bad. The year was approximately 2003, and like many stary-eyed gamers, I, too, thought I knew what it took to make a great Final Fantasy 6 inspired RPG (I say 6 because at this time in my life I actually had not yet played FF7). Allow me to present to you, Codename: The Shockwave.


(Yes, I, too, could steal copyrighted images from Digital Blashphemy)


Codename: The Shockwave was, in many ways, every failed creative idea I have ever had condensed in to one failed RPG maker game. I'm completely serious. This game is a frankensteinien (This is a word now, it is autological) mess of all of the games I played way too much of during my teenage years, namely SNES RPGs and N64 Rareware shooters. Oh, and the main character is basically just my super hero alter ego as imagined by myself in the fourth grade, only without the awesome lightning super powers. His name was Tony Spark, his superhero name was Shockwave. I did not intentionally name him after Iron Man. And my in game brother and girlfriend were named after my real life brother and girlfriend. We have since broken up. I have a new brother now.


(Neither do I, nebulous voice, neither do I)


The game actually opens with me voice acting something that I don't remember. You wouldn't know it, because I altered the voice... and am speaking backward, a most useless talent that did not prove its usefulness here.


(It's no wonder she left me)


So this game is about the cleverly named "The Virus," which, I guess, causes people to go kind of crazy and remember people and places that don't actually exist.



(Spoiler alert: If you're thinking, "Nah, man, they're just experiencing repressed memories and that's going to be revealed as some sort of shocking twist, because: RPGs." Then you would have been right.)


The original game was basically just straight JRPG inspired lameness. After a while, I started adding more secret agent themes, and gun play. Once I even had a fully real time game with several different weapons, which Monkey posted on the forums here somewhere last year or the year before. This is the middle version which combines JRPG inspired exploring and battles with some real time gun play (which was basically just a way to avoid battles). The first level has you exploring the streets of Chicago, looking for men who have "The Virus," and then wreaking some good ol' fashioned havoc on a pharmaceutical company.


(This was my game's equivalent of "I was walking here." Many plus ones to anybody who understands that reference)



(Chicago's iconic "Bar bar.")


(Product placement)




At one point during the first part of the mission, you get in to a very short Legend of Zelda style trading scheme, where, in order to get one of your targets to come with you, you must get him food. To get him food, you have to "hook up" a grocery store clerk. I'll leave that up to your imagination. In the future, secret agents don't carry money.


(He told me that if I have to ask what a Z Job is, I can't afford it)


(The much better prequel to 2 and a Half Men)


(Is this the part where you tell me that my game sucks and so does any thing that I've ever tried to make?)




So while the first half of the mission is basically just walking around empty streets and talking to people until you have talked to the right combination of people required to advance, the second half actually features guns and shooting and turn based combat and stuff. So that's cool?


(Tony Spark, computer whiz)


(Somehow, 12 years ago, I predicted exactly how Spaz quit her previous job, as mentioned in the MOTW section)


Ho-ly crap. So that's a thing that happened. Please don't play it. If you do, please don't judge me. Those were different times with different standards, and everybody has grown just a little bit inside because of it.




Last Week's Poll Results

Attached File  2015-04-07_220939.png   12.3KB   0 downloads

(Don't you get it, guys? This is how the robots take over.)

(I also voted to pilot one...)


This Week's Poll

Is it ever a good idea to revisit failed projects?


What did we listen to?

Perfect Dark OST by Rareware; Attack on Titan Opening by some Japenese people; A Trip on the Tram by Do Make Say Think; Air by Alone in Kyoto; Gagging Order by Radiohead


What did we play?

Life Is Strange; The Sims 3; Lili: Child of Geos; Sid Meier's Civilization: Beyond Earth; X-Com: Enemy Within for Android


What did we read?

Winter's Heart by Robert Jordan; Crossroads of Twilight by Robert Jordan; Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling; My Little Pony: Friends Forever; The Woman in White; Oh The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss


What did we watch?

(A lot of stuff, apparently)

BoJack Horseman (TV); The Phantom of the Opera (Who knows which one?); Broad City (TV); Kill La Kill (anime); The Twilight Saga (poop); Cosmopolis (film); Remember Me (film); Bel Ami (film); Kieth (film); The Rebound (film); Barefoot (film); The Prince and Me (Film); Timer (Film); Cindarela (Film); My Little Pony (TV); Serenity (Film); Trailer Park Boys (TV); Interstellar (Film); Unbreakable Kimmy Smidt (TV); Agents of Shield (TV); Mad Men (tv)

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The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead.

-Mr. Peanutbutter

#2 Stars



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Posted 07 April 2015 - 07:19 PM

Ironically there were no ponies in those pony videos.


I was hoping the store clerk would get a mention when I saw your pick for game of the week. d(''d)


More importantly, congrats once again on the new job, Spaz~

  • 1

* * * Stars' Final Fantasy Challenge * * *


Final Fantasy I - Completion Time 14:11

Final Fantasy II - Completion Time 27:03

Final Fantasy III - Play Time 07:24

Final Fantasy IV - Play Time 04:01

Final Fantasy V

Final Fantasy VI

#3 panda


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Posted 08 April 2015 - 04:53 AM

Yay for new jobs!!!

I envy you, girl!

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#4 SpazCat



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Posted 08 April 2015 - 05:52 AM

Thank you all! I'm both excited and anxious! Happy for a new start, but anxious for the unknown. So far so good. yesterday was my first day and I didn't get fired. :)

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#5 kspr


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Posted 08 April 2015 - 06:02 AM





i mean congrats on the new job!

  • 0

you awaken in the intestinal tract of satan. you must defeat the hydra to escape. your only weapon is righteous anger. 

#6 SpazCat



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Posted 09 April 2015 - 01:12 PM

I still love you Kasper.

  • 1


#7 Monkeydog



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Posted 09 April 2015 - 01:54 PM

I love your post VP.


I think your game is charming. Maybe it's just because I know you, and I don't immediately lose interest in it. But I like it, for what it is, and for the time, and for you. I really liked reading your own reaction to something you made a lifetime ago. It's neat. 

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#8 lazlo falconi

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Posted 10 April 2015 - 06:57 AM

Haha, this is a really great post. Also, holy crap, you worked at the Depot for six years?! I worked at my last job for just over two and was going crazy by the end of it... although that was a little different. Staying at one place for six years is an accomplishment in and of itself, so congrats on that, and then congrats on the new job (again)!

  • 1


Or, to put it more politely, "Neener neener."

-all my friends that came with are drinking out in the car
--forever alone
+\- joke's on them i'm too drunk to drive

#9 SpazCat



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Posted 15 April 2015 - 04:58 PM

Yep, started as a cashier in August of 2008. Left as a Department Head this month. Crazy how long it was, I still keep in touch with many of my co-workers (friends). Good people, great company, questionable management. 

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#10 legacyme3


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Posted 15 April 2015 - 06:24 PM

"I have a new brother now."

  • 1

Dropping down a well that time forgot
With scars that show that we care a lot
In the sky we dreamt like a juggernaut
Of the things we'd do and what we saught

Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Weekly Updates, Member of the Week, Game of the Week, Spazcat, Codename: The Shockwave, Crushed hopes and dreams

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